The Daily Challenge of Being Kind

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." - Henry James

At the Hyundai dealership, Mo, in a most courteous and practiced professionalism, advised me to have $574 worth of automotive parts and labour invested into my car. A second opinion was in order, an opinion I'd hoped to avoid.

My dad's mechanic, Mr Oh, owns and operates his own shop in the back alley off Dundas, called O'Seho, a curious Irish-Korean appellation. I refrain from calling the gentleman by his Christian name, Seho, since he's old, like my dad, and he's Korean, like my dad. Mr Oh has been the family mechanic for our Chrysler K car (a most reliable automobile), the Dodge Caravan, the Honda Accord, and my Hyundai Elantra. Last summer, when I returned from London (UK), I had my wipers and tires replaced for the fraction of the cost quoted by Canadian Tire, aka Canadian Thieves. During this visit to Mr Oh's shop, alone without my father for the first time, I was made immediately comfortable by Mr Oh's quiet and unhurried demeanor and his son, Raymond Oh.

Raymond was happy to look at my breaks, but like his father, he had an unhurried and methodical way about him that transformed the eagerness to something resembling reefer amicability. He even spoke with a slight drawl. Time moved slower at O'Seho and the prices, lower. I got a great quote and was asked out on a date by Raymond, thoughtfully encouraged by the elderly, family friend gentleman who doubles as the shops account manager and match-maker yenta. It was my first date since returning to Toronto and B-list dating, I reasoned, was always a good idea to get you started. On the day, I waited twenty minutes before leaving the coffee shop. I never returned his many phone calls which included a message of some lame reason of being held up at the shop. I hoped I wouldn't have to return their within the next couple or many years. And behold the irony: less than a year later I have break problems and Raymond is the breaks man at O'Seho. Happily, though, everyone was cool, including Raymond. I didn't fail to notice the other mechanic call Raymond when he spotted me getting out of the car, instead of notifying Mr Oh, who owns the place. Never mind. Raymond gave me a quote that was almost half of Mo's and then I got a drive home from the yenta accountant.

At the end of the ride, the accountant had words for me. I've noted my thoughts, unspoken, in {}.

"I'm not sure if I should say anything {Go with that. But of course you'll say it anyway} But I'll say it anyway. {He's actually parking the car . . . Oh Jesus . . . } You know last year I pushed, I encouraged, Raymond to ask you out. He came to me after you came and asked me what I thought of you and I said she seems very nice and he thought you were nice, too. And you know I have a daughter. Did you know that. How old are you? Well mine is thirty-four and her mother and I are getting worried, you know. The older you get, you become petrified in your ways and your less and less likely to meet someone you fit with. I've known Mr Oh for a long time since Korea. In high school. So I think of Raymond almost like a son. So I worry that he's not dating. You understand? {Oh God. Don't look at your watch. Don't look at your watch. Nod. Nod!} So I encouraged him to ask you out. Then after you left last year, he didn't mention you again and I didn't say anything but then after a while I asked him what happened. He told me he was late. I said to the bastard, if you ask a woman out then you get there on time! {My thoughts exactly.} He said his father made him stay longer and I said to him then you tell your daddy that you need to get somewhere and you leave! {Oh I get it. He didn't want his dad to know he was going out on a date . . . So sad when that happens.} You know, Raymond never went to university. Did you know that? {Right . . . Where are you going with this? Shake your head with straight face.} Well he didn't! {Don't laugh. Straight face.} I think, you know, I pushed him to ask you out but he was intimidated, you know, Miss Kim. {Who the hell's Miss Kim? Oh God, he thinks I'm Kim! . . . Oh forget it.} Raymond's family goes to the same church as we do so I know his family. His sister blah blah . . . but Raymond is a really nice boy blah blah . . . {Man, this guy is going on. Oh Christ. Please end. End!} . . . You won't find jewels just lying on the sidewalk. {Well . . . } No! You won't find jewels that way. You have to go looking for them. {Lavalife sucks.} No definitely not. {I suppose. Nod.} Ok. Now not a word to anyone about this. {Who would I tell?} Ok, yes, yes, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!"

As he drove off, I glimpsed his most self-satisfied face through the window as he smiled and waved magnanimously good-bye. I gave a friendly wave in return. He relieved his conscience and satisfied his need to impress wisdom, and I was kind enough to oblige him. I pick up my car in the morning with my mom.